You Can't Come to My Birthday Party!

Once upon a time, there was a little me who thought it was the end of the world if someone didn't like me. Being invited to a birthday party was completely validating and being left out the ultimate shun.  I got older and other activities replaced birthday parties- like boating at the lake or  being asked to Prom (I wasn't by the way- and I was NOT going stag!!   For one- who wants to pay that many dollars for a dress to go to a dance alone?!?!  For another, who wants to pay that many dollars for a dress to look like a princess and stand by the wall all evening and go home feeling like a mud pie?!   That's my logic.  I think I took my Bro's and sister to a movie on the night of Prom).  Anyway, we grow up.  Our priorities change.  We discover that it's okay to just be ourselves.  But does that need for acceptance ever REALLY go away.  Here's my theory.  For a lot of years I didn't, but now I like me.  I do!  I think I am a worthwhile person and that I have valid ideas and bla bla bla.  NOT EVERY ONE IS GOING TO LIKE ME THOUGH!!   Last week, I thought, "who cares!  Their loss!  I'm worth liking!"  This week I feel more humble.  I explored wondering why.  I tried to think what I had done to create not likability- but wondered if I really wanted to know the answer.  Would I change how I behave or who I am so one individual would "like" me?  (Do we wear certain clothes to fit in with a certain crowd?  Do we eat certain foods to fit in with a certain crowd. . . )  It has been an interesting thought path.  Evidently, I rubbed this individual the wrong way- because I tried to exercise more authority than was mine.  The word was "bossy". . . I've been called that a lot- and a "know it all". Here is my conclusion: I'm probably too bossy.  I know I butt by nose in where it doesn't belong.  Am I going to be different tomorrow?  Probably not.  Will I be different in five years?  Oh, I hope so!  I've decided that being a bossy know-it-all implies disrespect or contempt or superiority and while I may not consciously feel that way- it may be what I'm communicating.  I doubt very strongly that I will ever be best friends with the one who doesn't like me (the one. . lol.  there are probably more than one- but this is not an invitation to nit-pick me. . .le'me address one personality flaw at a time))  I made a bad first impression- and honestly, I'm not going to over extend myself trying to convince someone that I'm no so bad. That takes too much energy, and I really don't care what their opinion is.  There are people I don't like, too but I can be civil and respectful.  (Hopefully the one can do that to- I DON'T like open conflict)  But- I will try to be more respectful to people around me.  Do I like myself any less?  Well, maybe- but just because I think I may have unintentionally hurt someone.  I still like me, though; and I am grateful that I have room for improvement.   I like the quote that says "You have two ears and one mouth.  Use them in that ratio."  So here goes!!!!